I Was Just Saying Hello!
by Wafia Primo
Summary: Flirting is typical of Captain Jack Harkness, but there were times when the Doctor questioned his judgement. Sometimes he wondered if it was seriously worth bringing him along.


**Alright, this is the first story I've written in a long time and I'm not quite sure if it's any good. If it's to everyone's liking, I'll continue. Please bear with me! **

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"Hello! Captain Jack Harkness… And who are _you_?" Jack flashed his signature Harkness smile. It was moments like these where he felt he was allowed to express himself.

The Doctor gave him a warning glance. "Stop it… Now is seriously not the time." Jack's constant flirting with others could be a nuisance.

Jack huffed. "What? Can't I say hello to anyone?" It's not like he was causing any serious trouble. They were already in a lot of trouble anyway.

"EX. TER. MIN. NAAAAATE." The lone Dalek focused on the pair.

"You're trying to flirt with a Dalek of all things! What makes you think that it'd work on a Dalek?" Jack shrugged. "Hey, it was worth a shot." The Doctor ducked as it fired a laser at his head. He smelt smoke and felt the top of his head. "Aaagh! It burned my hair! Now this won't do!" He rubbed at the new bald spot on his head.

Jack grabbed his arm. "We can admire your new haircut later; I think we should run first!" The two of them dashed around a corner and ducked into the first room they saw. "Well, Doctor? I hope you have a plan."

The Doctor shook his head. "I did. Except I left it on the TARDIS, because someone insisted on running off instead of leaving prepared." Jack shot him a curious glance. "You don't have your plans memorized?" A head shake. "No, the plan contained a series of materials and items we're currently not in possession of. Now, we need to find a way to incapacitate the Dalek."

"That shouldn't be too bad since it's only one Dalek, right?" The Doctor gave him a look. "It wouldn't be that bad, but once again, we're rather unprepared at the moment." A grin began forming on Jack's face as he raised an eyebrow. "If it's preparation you need…" A chance to make a pass at the Doctor is never left undone.

"I should have left you on the TARDIS. Or better yet, in Cardiff. Well, I can't gripe about it now. Allons-y! We should get moving!" Jack grabbed his arm. "Wait… I think I have a plan. Just stay hidden."

Jack moved towards the doorway. Just outside, the Dalek could be heard making its way towards the room they were hiding in. Jack was grabbing at straws, but if this worked…

"Come out, and be exterminated. Running is futile." The Dalek appeared in the doorway. In that instant, Jack jumped out and planted a big wet kiss on the very tip of the Dalek's eyestalk before jamming lipstick into it. "MY VISION IS IMPAIRED; I CANNOT SEE. Cannot see." Jack ducked behind a series of cabinets just as it began firing off a series of lasers.

"Good work! Not what I'd recommend doing, but good! Where did you get the lipstick from though?" The Doctor carefully maneuvered his way towards Jack's position behind the cabinets. "Now, this lab appears to have a good supply of liquid nitrogen. If we can cover the Dalek in enough liquid nitrogen, the sudden freeze should be able to kill it, and we'll be getting away scot-free!"

Jack kept an eye on the flailing Dalek. "I'm not sure if I can get away from this without getting zapped. I know I won't stay dead, but those lasers don't exactly feel nice." The Doctor shrugged. "Eh. Small price to pay. A fixed point in time shouldn't worry so much. Now, I'm going to need you to distract it long enough for me to prepare the hose and tank."

Groaning, Jack got up and ran to another series of cabinets. He yelled out "Hey, tin can! You look like you could use a good time." The Dalek paused. "Being inside that bonded polycarbide armor of your must really eat away at your social life."

The Dalek began moving towards the source of speech. "Daleks do not need the pitiful affections humans have an affinity for. You cannot delay your demise. Prepare to be exterminated."

"Now wait just a moment? Are you telling me you're a virgin? That's no way to live! Just give me a chance and I'll show you a _really_ good time. One hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed. Backed by satisfied customers everywhere. How about it?"

The Dalek fired its laser in the direction of Jack's voice. "Cease your futile flirting. I, a Dalek feel no desire but the desire for your complete destruction."

"You can destroy me all you want later, babe. I'll introduce you to everything under this great big coat of mine."

"Foolish human! I shall waste no more time in talking to you!" As the Dalek made this declaration, the Doctor appeared. "Not today! Why don't you cool down a bit?" He pointed the hose at the Dalek and turned the valve. Liquid nitrogen shot out and coated it from top to bottom. Within a minute, the Dalek was completely frozen, and was soon declared dead by the Doctor.

"Next time, neither of us are going anywhere without a weapon." Jack patted himself on the shoulder. "There, there. Your hair was avenged. Now, let's get out of this place. I don't know where we are, but I'm starving, and I could go for some pie right now. I haven't had any in ages. Whew, flirting really takes a lot out of a man." The Doctor gently slapped him on the back of his head.

"Only you would think of flirting with a Dalek. As for pie, I know a place that serves lovely baked goods. Allons-y!"


End file.
